Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
