I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
