If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize