Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
