We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
