ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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