i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
