I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
