.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
