he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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