better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
