Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
