hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
