And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
