I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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