bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm like, not good at living.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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