sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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