my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
