i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
my nose is crying tears of wow.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
