In the future we'll all be gay
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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