He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
