She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
