Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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