..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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