No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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