did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Text me some of your sweat
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