Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
