therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
