What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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