I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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