wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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