i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Damn victory sex feels great
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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