See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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