weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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