I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
