i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
