If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
