My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
