Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Two words: blizzard sex
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize