i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
