Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
