PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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