I got chris browned last night
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
