Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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