brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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