The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
