His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
