Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just cut my nipple shaving
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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