i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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