yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
