we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
