she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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