I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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