i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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