oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
