If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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