I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
