He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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