I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
