i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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