so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
