peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize