HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
