my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
