I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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