Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
