Me too!
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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