What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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