i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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